what do i do now?

i've got what i want now... haven't i?? shouldn't i be happy? why i am i not happy??... is it not enough, or don't i ever really get contented with anything? i don't want to be like this... i want to be good... i do want to please the people around me but not like this... not this way, i guess... i've got a great future ahead of me, i know i do, but i can't have that if i take this path... or can i? i'll do better... i promise... i'll try... i'll prove them wrong, i AM good at something... i'm not worthless... i AM NOT!!!