the note from under the mat

it just struck me after i turned off my notebook...
i wrote it on a piece of paper so i wouldn't forget...

"...and then i realized that the reason i would stay there the whole day was because i wanted to keep you company just in case you decided to stop by. - but you never came. I didn't want you to feel all alone and left out, but it never bothered you at all that i was the one being left out..."

you keep on forgetting that i exist. i don't matter at all.

I wish I could find someone who would long for my presence just as much as I long for theirs. I wish I had someone who'd say he misses me and really mean it."

i'm angry yet i can't blame you... just because my world revolves around you, doesn't mean that yours revolves around me too...

i'm sorry about this, just give me some more time... i do admit my heart hasn't matured yet. i'm still being selfish. please be patient. i'll out grow this, i promise. i just hope i won't out grow you..."