hopefully

things will turn out the way i want them to be - it sounds selfish but i can't stop myself from wishing this

i've been a good girl - lovewise - but it seems that in the end, i don't get the guy after all.. i wonder if i'm doing something wrong.. my 6-year dilemma has been over for quite a few months now, and the guy who got me over him, doesn't seem as interested in me as i thought he was.. am i really that horrible of a person? do i not deserve to be in a relationship

i am aware that i'm barely over 19 and that i'm still in school, and it's like i'm taking things too fast - but does that mean that i won't be able to prioritize things properly? does that translate to me not being able to control myself with what should and what shouldn't be done. i know myself well enough to say that i'm responsible - that i'd be able to maintain my grades and everything i have currently


it's been over a year now since i first met him, and we've made no progress at all. i mean, the way we treat each other has not changed - although i do know that we are better friends now - but my feelings for him HAS, DRASTICALLY..


so hopefully 2009 will be a better year
and hopefully i'll be a better person